i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
