I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
