i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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