just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
