hotel room ftw
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We have so much sex to catch up on
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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