its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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