Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize