all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Randomize
