were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Oh god it's open bar.
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