Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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