I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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