i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
