We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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