I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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