So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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