Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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