Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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