i think my tv is drunk
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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