Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Sext me about skeletons
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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