All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Randomize