Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize