okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
