I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
wow bdsm is so cute
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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