I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
vagina is talking i cant
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
