Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
