WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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