I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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