your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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