found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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