I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize