Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
