i jhust puked up my retainher.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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