My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
