on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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