Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
