He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
