We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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