There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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