the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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