i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
