I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize