ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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