Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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