She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
