Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
