Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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