Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
