she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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