My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
