Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
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