how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
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I queefed so loud it echoed.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
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She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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