Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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