Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
