He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize