But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
In the future we'll all be gay
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
