Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
