let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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