No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
