it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
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I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
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Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize