Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize