in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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