i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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